Do you ever have one of those days where your stomach is a bottomless pit? Yea, well I've had one of those weeks. What. The. PUCK. I feel like I'm never full, everything fried sounds good, and the only other thing I want are cucumber sandwiches, and those are totally defeating the purpose. I have got to get back on track.
I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while, I don't even want to know the last time I did. I had writers block, and quite frankly I was embarrassed to say I had gone off track. Isn't that how all diets are? When you first start your diet you're all pumped and focused. You feel like you're the professional and you need to give everyone you know advice about "how to lose weight" just because you didn't eat the bun with your cheeseburger. I mean come ON, the diet kick for me usually last's about two weeks, then I'm over it. Good thing for us, we're on to the next diet.
Sensa keeps calling me from somewhere in Virginia. They think it's funny to call every morning at 8 AM to see if I want a free sample. Well of course I want a free sample, it's the $12 shipping and handling fee I'm having a tough time processing. It's 8 AM and my wallet is outside, NO I do not want to go outside in the cold morning air with my ass hanging out of my shorts and my hair looking like Medusa. Are you crazy Sensa lady? Rewind, for all of you who don't know, Sense is suppose to be a weight loss supplement you sprinkle over your food. I totally have 100% faith that one will work, NOT. Let me sprinkle it in my beer, will that do the trick? Idiots.
Anyway, I fell off the wagon for a bit but I'm back. This couldn't be a better time either because it's HOMECOMING here at Eastern Illinois University. I plan on wearing my brother's jersey to the game, and unless I want a nice 6 pack of rolls accompanying my 6 pack of beer, this bitch better get in shape. (I'm feeling feisty tonight.)
I just Googled "three day miracle diet" and Google thought it would be funny to finish my search before I did. What did Google find? "Three Day Miracle Prayer". Thanks Google. That's so thoughtful of you. Maybe this means I need prayer more then I need a diet? Who knows.
Back to the subject: I've been doing my research and this easy looking 3 day diet keeps popping up. It was featured in "Women's Health", among other magazines and journal articles. I believe I will attempt to tackle this diet tomorrow. It seems relatively easy too. The main points: consume less than 950 calories each day, only drink water, tea or coffer (no sweeteners), and do not skip any meals. Allegedly you can lose up to 40 pounds in one month on this program. This could be a winner. Below is the website which outlines a pretty simple meal plan:
http://www.wordsworthwriting.net/weightlossalaska/3%20day%20miracle%20diet.pdf
I also grabbed myself a couple workout DVD's. I PROMISE I'll write about those tomorrow or Wednesday. Plus, I've amped up my workout apparel. Hey, if I'm going to be the chunky kid on the treadmill, at least I'll be the best dressed.
Speaking of dressed, I have noticed that not many woman took my advice on NOT wearing spandex skirts. Although this is extremely surprising, just for the record, you all look ridiculous wearing spandex skirts and flip flops. I know you took to the time to get ready, so why are you wearing flip flops with your skin tight skirts. The least you could have done was go camando because your underwear line shows your barely-there muffin top. Plus when you wear high heals, it gives the optical illusion you're skinnier then you actually are. Ya welcome.
Needless to say I'm still 12 pounds lighter, I'm feeling great, and I'm loving life. This is actually ironic because I'm not as, I don't know how to put this without crossing the PG-13 line ... I'm not having as many sleepovers with the opposite sex as I was 12 pounds heavier. Whew, glad I got that one off my chest. You would think that since I lost weight I would be having more feather-flying pillow fights and long walks on the shoreline of Lake Charleston. Unfortunately for me, that part of my life has gone the opposite direction. Shucks.
Celery sticks and grapefruit for me this week. If you have any extra tuna drop it off at my house. Peace out home-skillets.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Skinny In Spandex
Can someone tell me when it became acceptable to wear a spandex skirt Thursday, Friday, AND Saturday? That's all I'm seeing these days. Spandex skirts, spandex skirts, and more stupid spandex skirts. Who makes these fashion decisions? Well let me tell you, I don't care if it's October 1st, or December 25th, as soon as I get rid of this blossoming belly, I'm wear a damn spandex skirt and booty popping all over Central Illinois.
After completing a lovely workout on Thursday, my friend Jorie and I decided to reward ourselves with Irish Car Bombs and beer. Luckily our after party snacks were skinny pizza's, but at least we pre-worked off the alcohol we consumed. Listen, to all you college Freshmen out there, we need to have a talk. First of all, most of you probably JUST started drinking, so NO, you haven't gained weight from it yet so you CAN wear your stupid spandex skirts. It doesn't mean you have to wear a white spandex skirt with a black thong. That's just not cute. (Yes, I DID see this in person. You know who you are.) Plus, when did it become OK to stop saying "excuse me" or "sorry" while sprinting to your coveted spot on the dance floor? I know you used a fake I.D. to get into this bar, so I'm going to assume your dancing with a boy who just hit puberty as well. Don't worry, I'm not going to steal your general education class study partner young child. However, I am a big girl and if you continue to push me, I'll push back. Just saying.
Now back to the "important" stuff: we're going into week two of the 14 Day GNC Total Body Transformation diet. Thus far I've lost two pounds. I can't stop drinking beer. This is an issue.
On a positive note, this diet is really easy. For anyone looking to lose weight in 14 days, this diet is for you. The box comes with two sets of pills, one for the morning and one for the afternoon. It also gives you two 180 calorie powders that you mix into a drink or shake. These powders will either substitute as your meal or for a snack. I will say, I never ONCE have been hungry on this program.
The savior to this diet: the "How To" booklet it comes with. I love the fact that I can do all of my workouts at home! Lunges, squats, bench press, everything I can do at home with my make-shift weights. If you recall I turned two empty milk jugs into my weights by filling them with water. I really need to come up with a name for them. Suggestions? Maybe "Belly Burner" and "Ass Kicker".
I've also been running and doing hills out at Fox Ridge State park. A couple of people have joined me, which is nice because that means I have to actually put in work and act like I'm in shape. I find myself acting like I'm yawning instead of breathing hard. When I get to the top of this hill and I feel like I'm going to roll back down it because I can't breath, I just yawn and act like, "Oh, I'm yawning because I just made that hill my bitch. I'm not tired, No, let's run back down it.". NOT.
The only thing you have to watch out for at Fox Ridge are branches. Those little .... GROWL. I was walking and saw a branch on the ground. I thought to myself, "That's a branch, not a root. I need to jump over that." I guess my left leg didn't get the memo because as soon as that thought passed through my head I tripped over the stick and almost soiled myself while face planting in the mud. Stick: 1, Avery: 0.
The only thing you have to watch out for at Fox Ridge are branches. Those little .... GROWL. I was walking and saw a branch on the ground. I thought to myself, "That's a branch, not a root. I need to jump over that." I guess my left leg didn't get the memo because as soon as that thought passed through my head I tripped over the stick and almost soiled myself while face planting in the mud. Stick: 1, Avery: 0.
Are you ready for my next adventure? Weight loss hypnosis! Yes, I'm going to try a 21 day program by Eric Brown, a certified hypnotherapist. You can download the program off of iTunes. Like anything else in this world, it did cost a little bit of money, but HEY, instead of buying that last shot you know you'll regret in the morning, hop online and get hypnotized.
I've only been hypnotized by the big E-Dog once, and well, let's just say I started it around midnight and woke up around 8 A.M. Eric says it's ok to fall asleep though, he has a very soothing voice. Maybe it's when he tells me to get into some boat in the ocean and drift off, that's when I fall asleep. I most likely fell asleep because I'm thinking, "Hell no Eric Brown, Natalie Halloway didn't come back from that shit, I'm not about to be a missing person.". I'll let you know how it goes.
With smart phones these days, no matter what make or model there's an application for counting calories. They're usually free, download one. I use to be THAT GIRL who would "count calories" and leave off a couple pieces of cheese or General Tso's chicken crumbs. Don't do it! The worst thing you can do it fool yourself into thinking you're consuming less calories than you actually are. In the end, the scales don't lie.
Thinking about trying Sensa, the miracle sprinkles you put on your food? Thoughts? I put up some new pictures so you can see the transformation in my body! Email me any thoughts, comments, questions, or suggestions at akmacpheedrake@gmail.com.
By the way, spandex skirt wearers, I wear spandex to work out in every day. If you want to make a statement at the bar, come borrow my spandex SHORTS. Food for thought.
-A
Monday, September 12, 2011
In Two Weeks I'll Be Skinny ...
If you see a big girl running down the road with really nice running gear on, but obviously is not in shape, yea, that's me. Don't judge.
It's DAY 1 of my 14 day total body transformation diet. If you recall, I paid $50 for this Total Lean: Total Body Transformation kit from GNC. A little sweet-tart named Kyle sold me on the idea after he gazed at me with his pretty blue eyes and told me he had a lot of "repeat customers" with this program. (Oh Kyle, I'll repeat.) My mom asked me if I wanted to go to GNC on Sunday. I politely replied, "I think we should go during the work-week. Kyle really knows what he's talking about!".
The diet consists of a morning pill packet, evening pill packet, and two protein shake powders. I was actually really impressed because it also comes with a packet that explains what all of the pills are and how they work. Plus there's an easy to follow meal plan. No, they don't include crazy recipes that require 17 different ingredients and a fresh fish. The meals are simple: Lemon Herb White Fish, Turkey Wrap, Fajita's, Shrimp Salad. Not too tough! The program requires that I eat five small meals a day. Two of those meals are the shakes from the box, with either blue berries or an apple with peanut butter (there are other snack options too but those two caught my eye).
Besides my healthy eating, which is suppose to be under 1500 calories a day I might add, the informational packet also says I have to do cardio 30-60 minutes a day, four to six days a week, along with upper body and lower body workouts on different days.
Here's the part I LOVE: I'm not going to the gym! Yes, this is true. You can catch my big booty jogging up and down ninth street and walking on the side streets. Let's be honest, I can't walk on the main roads because that's just embarrassing. I leave the "brisk walk" aka catching my breath, for streets like 10th and Polk. If you see me stretching, I'm also catching my breath then too.
However, like I said before, I have to do upper body workouts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and lower body workouts on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I'll blog more in depth about the workouts in the coming days, but for right now, all I have to say is watch out Jillian Michaels, your commercials where you come into my living room like a crazy drill sergeant no longer intimidate me. Take THAT Mrs. Universe, I'm not impressed. A quick mention though, I don't have any free weights or Chuck Norris fitness equipment at home so I made due with what I had. I think I'm a genius, personally. For my upper body workouts, I took two one gallon milk jugs and filled them with water. For a rebirthed workout junkie, these may seem pretty light at first. Don't worry, you'll be burning after the first set. If not, try putting wet dirt, sand, or rocks in your milk jugs.
After starting my "intense" running workouts, I finally felt a little bit better about myself when I saw a man jogging past my house today. Poor computer junkie, his upper body was about two feet in front of his legs and it looked like he had to pick up his feet to move. On top of that, he didn't have any sort of I Pod or Walkman, or anything in his ears to keep him motivated. I mean, I basically have to stop running and take a breather every time my music changes because I can hear myself breathe and I feel sorry for myself. Remember: DON'T LET YOUR MIND STOP YOU BEFORE YOUR BODY DOES.
Quick mention, shout out to my grandma for letting me steal her weight scale. Finally I have a scale at my house. I've been sneaking into a fitness facility in Charleston and creeping past the front desk and using their scale. They caught me a couple times so I figure it was time to move onto the next one. On the down-side, the scale adds minimum 33 pounds to your current weight. I'm not joking, you tap it to turn it on and it's starts off at 33. Dang. That's a buzz kill!
You know what else is a buzz kill, ab exercises. Why you ask, because when I do crunches I can really tell how skinny my stomach ISN'T. When your rolls touch your tits, as your tits touch your face, it's not too sexy. Even I don't want to see myself doing abs. No worries though, it'll all be gone soon!
- A
It's DAY 1 of my 14 day total body transformation diet. If you recall, I paid $50 for this Total Lean: Total Body Transformation kit from GNC. A little sweet-tart named Kyle sold me on the idea after he gazed at me with his pretty blue eyes and told me he had a lot of "repeat customers" with this program. (Oh Kyle, I'll repeat.) My mom asked me if I wanted to go to GNC on Sunday. I politely replied, "I think we should go during the work-week. Kyle really knows what he's talking about!".
The diet consists of a morning pill packet, evening pill packet, and two protein shake powders. I was actually really impressed because it also comes with a packet that explains what all of the pills are and how they work. Plus there's an easy to follow meal plan. No, they don't include crazy recipes that require 17 different ingredients and a fresh fish. The meals are simple: Lemon Herb White Fish, Turkey Wrap, Fajita's, Shrimp Salad. Not too tough! The program requires that I eat five small meals a day. Two of those meals are the shakes from the box, with either blue berries or an apple with peanut butter (there are other snack options too but those two caught my eye).
Besides my healthy eating, which is suppose to be under 1500 calories a day I might add, the informational packet also says I have to do cardio 30-60 minutes a day, four to six days a week, along with upper body and lower body workouts on different days.
Here's the part I LOVE: I'm not going to the gym! Yes, this is true. You can catch my big booty jogging up and down ninth street and walking on the side streets. Let's be honest, I can't walk on the main roads because that's just embarrassing. I leave the "brisk walk" aka catching my breath, for streets like 10th and Polk. If you see me stretching, I'm also catching my breath then too.
However, like I said before, I have to do upper body workouts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and lower body workouts on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I'll blog more in depth about the workouts in the coming days, but for right now, all I have to say is watch out Jillian Michaels, your commercials where you come into my living room like a crazy drill sergeant no longer intimidate me. Take THAT Mrs. Universe, I'm not impressed. A quick mention though, I don't have any free weights or Chuck Norris fitness equipment at home so I made due with what I had. I think I'm a genius, personally. For my upper body workouts, I took two one gallon milk jugs and filled them with water. For a rebirthed workout junkie, these may seem pretty light at first. Don't worry, you'll be burning after the first set. If not, try putting wet dirt, sand, or rocks in your milk jugs.
After starting my "intense" running workouts, I finally felt a little bit better about myself when I saw a man jogging past my house today. Poor computer junkie, his upper body was about two feet in front of his legs and it looked like he had to pick up his feet to move. On top of that, he didn't have any sort of I Pod or Walkman, or anything in his ears to keep him motivated. I mean, I basically have to stop running and take a breather every time my music changes because I can hear myself breathe and I feel sorry for myself. Remember: DON'T LET YOUR MIND STOP YOU BEFORE YOUR BODY DOES.
Quick mention, shout out to my grandma for letting me steal her weight scale. Finally I have a scale at my house. I've been sneaking into a fitness facility in Charleston and creeping past the front desk and using their scale. They caught me a couple times so I figure it was time to move onto the next one. On the down-side, the scale adds minimum 33 pounds to your current weight. I'm not joking, you tap it to turn it on and it's starts off at 33. Dang. That's a buzz kill!
You know what else is a buzz kill, ab exercises. Why you ask, because when I do crunches I can really tell how skinny my stomach ISN'T. When your rolls touch your tits, as your tits touch your face, it's not too sexy. Even I don't want to see myself doing abs. No worries though, it'll all be gone soon!
- A
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I Can't Believe My Stomach ...
Oh my goodness, I can't believe the difference in my stomach in just one week. I really didn't want to put the pictures on here because I can't believe I let my stomach look like it did, but you guys have to see this transformation! I was like the big pig who lived at the market! Oink Oink!
TAKE A LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE FOR THE BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES OF MY STOMACH!
The second round of the 24 Hollywood diet isn't even comparable to round one. Round one I was tired and emotionless, had a headache, cramping (with and without the "m" in that word), and I thought I was going to die. Round one obviously went to the diet guru's because it kicked my curvy ass. However, this past 24 fast was EASY PEASY! I didn't wake up with cravings, didn't have to check my pants every hour, on the hour, didn't have a dinosaur in m stomach making all kinds of sounds I've never heard. All-in-all, the 24 Hollywood diet is totally mental.
The difference this time around is that I only lost two pounds compared to the six pounds I originally lost. Remember: three pounds came back, but by losing two pounds this time it means I'm down five. HOLLA AT A PLAYA! Plus, I already brought my BMI down by one point. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.
I can tell you what NOT to do while fasting, don't watch TELEVISION. It wasn't until this diet that I realized how jam packed T.V. is with food commercials. There isn't even a Red Robin around Central Illinois but for some reason I just want to run out to my porch and yell "Reeeeeeeed Robin, Yummmmm!". Also, by no means should you EVER watch the food channel while dieting. Just don't do it. I thought watching "Bizarre Foods" on the Travel Channel was a safe bet last night. HA, I wanted that beetle more than the fat guy getting paid to eat it!
On to the next one: the GNC 14 day total body cleanse. I'll have to do some more research on this one before I give you the full run-down.
Before I forget, my friend Evan is some kind of physical God (yes ladies, I know for a fact how yummy he is so I believe him, plus he's a personal trainer) and he says he took this pill called "T3" and lost about 15 pounds in five weeks. Now Ev also says he had a limited amount of carbs, but still, 15 pounds when that kid is all muscle anyway, I want to see him naked. He recommends that we take Clenbuterol with T3. Essentially this little cocktail hour is a fat burner and a thyroid blocker. Maybe I'll post a picture of Evan and then you guys will really know what I'm talking about as far as the "I believe you because you're beautiful" philosophy in my head goes these days.
Listen my twig wanna-be's, I need idea's just like Evan's so I can keep going on this adventure. Let me know what you want me to try by just commenting or emailing me at akmacpheedrake@gmail.com.
By the way, really wanted to do the tape worm diet, turns out those little wormies travel into your brain and kill you. Who would have thought? Plus, it's illegal in the U.S., darn the luck.
- A
TAKE A LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE FOR THE BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES OF MY STOMACH!
The second round of the 24 Hollywood diet isn't even comparable to round one. Round one I was tired and emotionless, had a headache, cramping (with and without the "m" in that word), and I thought I was going to die. Round one obviously went to the diet guru's because it kicked my curvy ass. However, this past 24 fast was EASY PEASY! I didn't wake up with cravings, didn't have to check my pants every hour, on the hour, didn't have a dinosaur in m stomach making all kinds of sounds I've never heard. All-in-all, the 24 Hollywood diet is totally mental.
The difference this time around is that I only lost two pounds compared to the six pounds I originally lost. Remember: three pounds came back, but by losing two pounds this time it means I'm down five. HOLLA AT A PLAYA! Plus, I already brought my BMI down by one point. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.
I can tell you what NOT to do while fasting, don't watch TELEVISION. It wasn't until this diet that I realized how jam packed T.V. is with food commercials. There isn't even a Red Robin around Central Illinois but for some reason I just want to run out to my porch and yell "Reeeeeeeed Robin, Yummmmm!". Also, by no means should you EVER watch the food channel while dieting. Just don't do it. I thought watching "Bizarre Foods" on the Travel Channel was a safe bet last night. HA, I wanted that beetle more than the fat guy getting paid to eat it!
On to the next one: the GNC 14 day total body cleanse. I'll have to do some more research on this one before I give you the full run-down.
Before I forget, my friend Evan is some kind of physical God (yes ladies, I know for a fact how yummy he is so I believe him, plus he's a personal trainer) and he says he took this pill called "T3" and lost about 15 pounds in five weeks. Now Ev also says he had a limited amount of carbs, but still, 15 pounds when that kid is all muscle anyway, I want to see him naked. He recommends that we take Clenbuterol with T3. Essentially this little cocktail hour is a fat burner and a thyroid blocker. Maybe I'll post a picture of Evan and then you guys will really know what I'm talking about as far as the "I believe you because you're beautiful" philosophy in my head goes these days.
Listen my twig wanna-be's, I need idea's just like Evan's so I can keep going on this adventure. Let me know what you want me to try by just commenting or emailing me at akmacpheedrake@gmail.com.
By the way, really wanted to do the tape worm diet, turns out those little wormies travel into your brain and kill you. Who would have thought? Plus, it's illegal in the U.S., darn the luck.
- A
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Drinking Makes Me Fat ...
Why do I love beer so much? I promise it will be the death of me! I should really think of a name for the keg I carry on my stomach every morning after I wake up from a fun night at the bar.
I consumed over 1,300 calories in Bud Light yesterday, add to that over 700 calories in the three Irish Car Bombs I did and that's basically 2,000 calories in alcohol. Well, I guess I found my down fall right there. Great. I drank more calories in a few hours than I really should eat in a day. I could have had 10 grilled chicken breasts and been all pumped up on protein.
On the flip side, I did have a late night swimming session (clothing optional) so that may have burned off some calories. Back to the point: Sunday fun day my ass. Not happening.
Good news is from the 24 hour diet I've still kept off three pounds. Bad news: my stomach has been cramping for a few days and I'm not totally regular in the bathroom department yet.
I've got to change my routine and my friend Rachel has convinced me how to do it. New plan of attack at the bar: vodka, water, and the zero calorie crystal light packets. Rachel let me try her drink and it was YUMMY, ladies! Guys, if I see you drinking this I WILL most likely make fun of you, and then buy you another drink for reading my blog.
Here's where we run into an issue, the higher the potency of your vodka, the more calories it has. So is it really worth it? I guess it all depends on your mood: let's dance the night away and not remember anything or damn I look good in this dress and I want to continue to fit into it. FYI for all of you Long Island Ice Tea drinkers ... you're screwed. There's almost 800 calories in one of those alone (8 ounces). Plus, you really aren't a better dancer drunk any way. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Tomorrow I will celebrate Labor Day by fasting again. Experts say you can do the 24 hour diet once a week and you'll live. Thank goodness because this belly fat isn't getting me any closer to my goal of being a twig again. (Oh wait, we realized why a couple minutes ago: I drink too much!) Finishing off the last half of my 48 Hollywood Diet drink tomorrow and then it's on to the 14 day cleanse. Oh goody I can't wait. I should probably go stock up on toilet tissue right now. Diapers may be in my basket too. ("I sheet on the toilet." Please tell me you've seen that commercial.)
Last piece of advice ... This skinny woman Val says she knows how we can get our bikini body's back in 24 hours. I'm wondering where this bitch was all summer, but that's besides the point. "Trainer to the stars" Val says every morning we should make a big huge pot of lemon and cucumber water. If you didn't know, lemon and asparagus have mild diuretics in them. Once again, be near a toilet. She also says we should all get spray tans because it will make us feel better about ourselves. Wow Val, a personal trainer and a therapist. all in one. Do you sell a self tanner too? Genius.
Case-in-point: 24 hour diet tomorrow. Drink vodka, water, and crystal light. We'll all be skinny by Tuesday.
- A
I consumed over 1,300 calories in Bud Light yesterday, add to that over 700 calories in the three Irish Car Bombs I did and that's basically 2,000 calories in alcohol. Well, I guess I found my down fall right there. Great. I drank more calories in a few hours than I really should eat in a day. I could have had 10 grilled chicken breasts and been all pumped up on protein.
On the flip side, I did have a late night swimming session (clothing optional) so that may have burned off some calories. Back to the point: Sunday fun day my ass. Not happening.
Good news is from the 24 hour diet I've still kept off three pounds. Bad news: my stomach has been cramping for a few days and I'm not totally regular in the bathroom department yet.
I've got to change my routine and my friend Rachel has convinced me how to do it. New plan of attack at the bar: vodka, water, and the zero calorie crystal light packets. Rachel let me try her drink and it was YUMMY, ladies! Guys, if I see you drinking this I WILL most likely make fun of you, and then buy you another drink for reading my blog.
Here's where we run into an issue, the higher the potency of your vodka, the more calories it has. So is it really worth it? I guess it all depends on your mood: let's dance the night away and not remember anything or damn I look good in this dress and I want to continue to fit into it. FYI for all of you Long Island Ice Tea drinkers ... you're screwed. There's almost 800 calories in one of those alone (8 ounces). Plus, you really aren't a better dancer drunk any way. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Tomorrow I will celebrate Labor Day by fasting again. Experts say you can do the 24 hour diet once a week and you'll live. Thank goodness because this belly fat isn't getting me any closer to my goal of being a twig again. (Oh wait, we realized why a couple minutes ago: I drink too much!) Finishing off the last half of my 48 Hollywood Diet drink tomorrow and then it's on to the 14 day cleanse. Oh goody I can't wait. I should probably go stock up on toilet tissue right now. Diapers may be in my basket too. ("I sheet on the toilet." Please tell me you've seen that commercial.)
Last piece of advice ... This skinny woman Val says she knows how we can get our bikini body's back in 24 hours. I'm wondering where this bitch was all summer, but that's besides the point. "Trainer to the stars" Val says every morning we should make a big huge pot of lemon and cucumber water. If you didn't know, lemon and asparagus have mild diuretics in them. Once again, be near a toilet. She also says we should all get spray tans because it will make us feel better about ourselves. Wow Val, a personal trainer and a therapist. all in one. Do you sell a self tanner too? Genius.
Case-in-point: 24 hour diet tomorrow. Drink vodka, water, and crystal light. We'll all be skinny by Tuesday.
- A
Thursday, September 1, 2011
No Food & 6 Lbs Later ...
Thank the LORD I didn't eat those nachos yesterday, or anything at all, because this curvy chica lost SIX pounds in 24 hours!
On Wednesday I took on the hefty task of starting this dieting adventure and my first victim: the 48 hour Hollywood Diet. I turned this diet into a 24 hour program, which I researched and found out was A-OK. Within 24 hours of drinking three cocktails consisting of four ounces of the juice and four ounces of water, plus eight glasses of water, I lost 6 pounds! WOW! The diet promised I would only lose up to 5 pounds. Sounds like my body was craving for a detox and a cleansing really bad!
However, the question is, how long will this weight stay off? Considering I couldn't consume any food at all yesterday, I wonder what my weight will be once I eat something. I'm considering walking around with grilled chicken on a stick today to keep me away from any "bad" food.
I tell you what, yesterday was hell on Earth, not going to lie. I started the day off fine, just craving everything on the planet. As the day went by I started to feel light headed, dizzy, and then here came the hangover headache. I seriously felt hungover from 7 P.M. till I went to bed around midnight. I slept like a baby though. When I woke up I wasn't hungry at all. Weird. I bet I could make it the 48 hours without eating, but I have a tailgate to attend so screw that.
I gain all my weight in my non-six pack stomach and this morning I could tell that's where I lost it. Bad news: now I don't want to drink beer or eat the Buffalo Wild Wings my mom has promised me this evening. I don't want to gain the weight back! What an emotional roller-coaster!
Oh something else you need to know about this diet ... be near to a bathroom at all times! I won't go into any details because quite frankly some things happened to my body yesterday that I only thought happened to infants and old balls, but seriously, diapers may do the trick.
Six pounds down, 24 to go. We can do this troops! It's will power! See you at the EIU football game! Come tailgate with me and grab a chicken breast!
- A
On Wednesday I took on the hefty task of starting this dieting adventure and my first victim: the 48 hour Hollywood Diet. I turned this diet into a 24 hour program, which I researched and found out was A-OK. Within 24 hours of drinking three cocktails consisting of four ounces of the juice and four ounces of water, plus eight glasses of water, I lost 6 pounds! WOW! The diet promised I would only lose up to 5 pounds. Sounds like my body was craving for a detox and a cleansing really bad!
However, the question is, how long will this weight stay off? Considering I couldn't consume any food at all yesterday, I wonder what my weight will be once I eat something. I'm considering walking around with grilled chicken on a stick today to keep me away from any "bad" food.
I tell you what, yesterday was hell on Earth, not going to lie. I started the day off fine, just craving everything on the planet. As the day went by I started to feel light headed, dizzy, and then here came the hangover headache. I seriously felt hungover from 7 P.M. till I went to bed around midnight. I slept like a baby though. When I woke up I wasn't hungry at all. Weird. I bet I could make it the 48 hours without eating, but I have a tailgate to attend so screw that.
I gain all my weight in my non-six pack stomach and this morning I could tell that's where I lost it. Bad news: now I don't want to drink beer or eat the Buffalo Wild Wings my mom has promised me this evening. I don't want to gain the weight back! What an emotional roller-coaster!
Oh something else you need to know about this diet ... be near to a bathroom at all times! I won't go into any details because quite frankly some things happened to my body yesterday that I only thought happened to infants and old balls, but seriously, diapers may do the trick.
Six pounds down, 24 to go. We can do this troops! It's will power! See you at the EIU football game! Come tailgate with me and grab a chicken breast!
- A
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I Lost Weight, But ...
Cheese sticks, fried pickles, Thai food, Chinese, pizza, steak ... I can't stop thinking about food!
Today was the 24 hour Hollywood Diet and let me tell you, I don't know how girls are anorexic. I mean yesterday you couldn't pay me to eat something unhealthy and this morning, I woke up tasting tacos in my mouth! I was so hungry the second I woke up, but I knew it was because I couldn't eat all day!
Now you guys are going to laugh at me because up until 4:30 this afternoon, not only did I think I couldn't eat food, I thought I could drink water either! Reading that and saying it out loud makes me realize how dumb that sounds, but I did!
I didn't actually get the "this drink is going to make you fit into your skinny girl jeans" drink until about 1 this afternoon. I found the diet drink at CVS and wasn't too happy to see the orange juice looking thing was $20. CHEESE AND CRACKERS BATMAN! (Oh dear Lord cheese and crackers sound PHENOMENAL right now.) Twenty bucks to lose five pounds in 24 hours, I don't know if I can live with that. I guess I have to since I already paid with my mom's check. Whoops sorry mom, I was only suppose to pick up grandma's medicine, but HEY I didn't know CVS would have my koolaid for fat kids! (Love you momma!)
The Hollywood Diet says you're suppose to take four ounces of the juice and four ounces of water and mix them together to make the perfect skinny girl cocktail. I had to make three of these watered down OJ's and, "finish each one of them within four hours.". How would it take me any longer than four hours to finish an eight ounce drink, I don't know? I'm starving and YES I'll say it, I WANT SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH! (PG-13 Get your mind out of the gutter!) Now what I didn't realize until 4 this afternoon was that I am also suppose to have eight glasses of water today. I'll blame that one on the eye infection I'm currently battling.
Hold on, let me sip on my skinny bitch drink for a second.
It actually doesn't taste that bad.
Anyway, here's what I discovered today. Within three hours of starting this diet I had already lost ONE POUND. Not too shabby, hun. I will weigh myself again tomorrow morning and who wants to bet by the time tomorrow is over I gain all that weight back!
What the happy juice doesn't talk about on the advertisement is the fact that I've been tired all day today. Plus, I was really cranky while nanny. Maybe it was the little boy who always calls me fat? Maybe it was me? I'll leave that one for someone else to decide. It didn't help when the 9 year old girl asked for NACHOS as her after school snack. Just rub it in tiny 9 year old. What's your BMI ... yeah, didn't think so.
Wrapping this day up, I've had a headache, I'm tired, and I can't stop thinking about food. Hopefully I lose 5 pounds like I'm suppose to. I'm going to go walk and hopefully forget about food. I mean I was craving Lonestar Steak House today ... I'VE NEVER BEEN TO LONESTAR STEAK HOUSE. It's all about will-power people!
-A
Today was the 24 hour Hollywood Diet and let me tell you, I don't know how girls are anorexic. I mean yesterday you couldn't pay me to eat something unhealthy and this morning, I woke up tasting tacos in my mouth! I was so hungry the second I woke up, but I knew it was because I couldn't eat all day!
Now you guys are going to laugh at me because up until 4:30 this afternoon, not only did I think I couldn't eat food, I thought I could drink water either! Reading that and saying it out loud makes me realize how dumb that sounds, but I did!
I didn't actually get the "this drink is going to make you fit into your skinny girl jeans" drink until about 1 this afternoon. I found the diet drink at CVS and wasn't too happy to see the orange juice looking thing was $20. CHEESE AND CRACKERS BATMAN! (Oh dear Lord cheese and crackers sound PHENOMENAL right now.) Twenty bucks to lose five pounds in 24 hours, I don't know if I can live with that. I guess I have to since I already paid with my mom's check. Whoops sorry mom, I was only suppose to pick up grandma's medicine, but HEY I didn't know CVS would have my koolaid for fat kids! (Love you momma!)
The Hollywood Diet says you're suppose to take four ounces of the juice and four ounces of water and mix them together to make the perfect skinny girl cocktail. I had to make three of these watered down OJ's and, "finish each one of them within four hours.". How would it take me any longer than four hours to finish an eight ounce drink, I don't know? I'm starving and YES I'll say it, I WANT SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH! (PG-13 Get your mind out of the gutter!) Now what I didn't realize until 4 this afternoon was that I am also suppose to have eight glasses of water today. I'll blame that one on the eye infection I'm currently battling.
Hold on, let me sip on my skinny bitch drink for a second.
It actually doesn't taste that bad.
Anyway, here's what I discovered today. Within three hours of starting this diet I had already lost ONE POUND. Not too shabby, hun. I will weigh myself again tomorrow morning and who wants to bet by the time tomorrow is over I gain all that weight back!
What the happy juice doesn't talk about on the advertisement is the fact that I've been tired all day today. Plus, I was really cranky while nanny. Maybe it was the little boy who always calls me fat? Maybe it was me? I'll leave that one for someone else to decide. It didn't help when the 9 year old girl asked for NACHOS as her after school snack. Just rub it in tiny 9 year old. What's your BMI ... yeah, didn't think so.
Wrapping this day up, I've had a headache, I'm tired, and I can't stop thinking about food. Hopefully I lose 5 pounds like I'm suppose to. I'm going to go walk and hopefully forget about food. I mean I was craving Lonestar Steak House today ... I'VE NEVER BEEN TO LONESTAR STEAK HOUSE. It's all about will-power people!
-A
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
BMI My Butt
Today was the infamous physical appointment at my doctors office. I hate to say it, but I was a nervous wreck before I got to her office. I was practically shaking! What do I actually weigh? From all of my alcoholic weekends and fast food hangover binges, what had I done to my body? I am HAPPY to say I survived my appointment, with only minor bruising to my ego. Talk about karma ... Hurricane Katrina should have been Hurricane Karma because that bitch was bad and so was my news.
I not only have an infection in my eye, which my eye doctor told me yesterday, but I also have an infection in my throat. I'm falling apart people and this thing hasn't even started yet!
I know you all want to know what I weigh, and yes, I'll kind of tell you. If you really want to find out, figure this out: My doctor, Kelli Blagg, says that my blood pressure and heart rate are stupendous, kind of, and my lungs and oxygen levels are outstanding. (OK so maybe she didn't use those words, but I asked her if I was going to die from this and she said no. No backing out of this one. Dang.)
I'm considered overweight. Thank GOD I'm not obese. I mean, baby got back, but baby's got front too. I can't have a FUPA, that's embarrassing! (For all of you who don't know what a FUPA is ... google it.) My BMI is at 29. That's not good. However, I am 5'10'' and MY DOCTOR (hint, hint, licensed by the state to practice medicine and knows her stuff) says I'm big boned. FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME ON THAT ONE! One brownie point to the Doc. For a person my height and age, I should be within the weight range of 130 to 170 lbs.
I'm sorry, but while writing this post all I've wanted to say is "EFFIN A!". What the hell am I doing?!?! I really want to have a an episode and just write all the curse words I can imagine.
Back to being a PG-13 writer: the visit was a nice reality check. Since my last visit in March, I've gained 15 lbs. Whoa, I had no idea. That's a lie, let's be honest, my flippin' pants ripped yesterday, of course I knew I gained weight again. Darn it! I asked the doctor if I needed to wait a few days in between diets, to let my system level itself out, ya know (or to grab a case of Bud Light or something of that nature) and she says it's perfectly fine to do these diets back to back.
Kelli Blagg suggested that I start with the "GNC Total Lean: total Body Transformation System". Remember we talked about this yesterday ... cutie Kyle, 14 day program, any of this ringing a bell? Her logic makes sense considering the GNC program is suppose to cleanse and detox your body too. However, I found a recipe for the Hollywood Miracle Diet (24 or 48 hours) and I think I'll try that one first.
Here's my plan of attack: Do the 24 hour cleanse tomorrow, have fun on Thursday at the EIU football game (Adam Drake, wide receiver #88), start the 14 day GNC diet on Sunday. How does that sound? You can't ask me to give up my weekend to dieting. That's just rude.
Keep in mind readers, I know how to lose weight the correct way: less caloric intake, more exercise. Not that hard, but I have a short attention span.
One last thing ... parents, teach your little kids not to call people fat. The little boy I nanny for continues to call me fat and tells me I'm big. Listen 7 year old, BACK THE BLEEP OFF. At first it was funny, because I'm obviously not a twig, but it quickly became redundant and I keep imaging myself getting a running start and drop kicking him in the face. By the way, I do love this little boy to death, but when we're in the car and he goes, "When are you going to get a bigger car? You keep getting bigger so you probably need a bigger car too.". For now, I only imagine the drop kick for a split second, it may become my day dream.
Well folks that wraps it up. Here's the web link to the Hollywood Miracle Diet. I'll let you know how it goes! Pictures are coming! http://www.naturalhomecures.com/member/24hourdiet.html
- A
I not only have an infection in my eye, which my eye doctor told me yesterday, but I also have an infection in my throat. I'm falling apart people and this thing hasn't even started yet!
I know you all want to know what I weigh, and yes, I'll kind of tell you. If you really want to find out, figure this out: My doctor, Kelli Blagg, says that my blood pressure and heart rate are stupendous, kind of, and my lungs and oxygen levels are outstanding. (OK so maybe she didn't use those words, but I asked her if I was going to die from this and she said no. No backing out of this one. Dang.)
I'm considered overweight. Thank GOD I'm not obese. I mean, baby got back, but baby's got front too. I can't have a FUPA, that's embarrassing! (For all of you who don't know what a FUPA is ... google it.) My BMI is at 29. That's not good. However, I am 5'10'' and MY DOCTOR (hint, hint, licensed by the state to practice medicine and knows her stuff) says I'm big boned. FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME ON THAT ONE! One brownie point to the Doc. For a person my height and age, I should be within the weight range of 130 to 170 lbs.
I'm sorry, but while writing this post all I've wanted to say is "EFFIN A!". What the hell am I doing?!?! I really want to have a an episode and just write all the curse words I can imagine.
Back to being a PG-13 writer: the visit was a nice reality check. Since my last visit in March, I've gained 15 lbs. Whoa, I had no idea. That's a lie, let's be honest, my flippin' pants ripped yesterday, of course I knew I gained weight again. Darn it! I asked the doctor if I needed to wait a few days in between diets, to let my system level itself out, ya know (or to grab a case of Bud Light or something of that nature) and she says it's perfectly fine to do these diets back to back.
Kelli Blagg suggested that I start with the "GNC Total Lean: total Body Transformation System". Remember we talked about this yesterday ... cutie Kyle, 14 day program, any of this ringing a bell? Her logic makes sense considering the GNC program is suppose to cleanse and detox your body too. However, I found a recipe for the Hollywood Miracle Diet (24 or 48 hours) and I think I'll try that one first.
Here's my plan of attack: Do the 24 hour cleanse tomorrow, have fun on Thursday at the EIU football game (Adam Drake, wide receiver #88), start the 14 day GNC diet on Sunday. How does that sound? You can't ask me to give up my weekend to dieting. That's just rude.
Keep in mind readers, I know how to lose weight the correct way: less caloric intake, more exercise. Not that hard, but I have a short attention span.
One last thing ... parents, teach your little kids not to call people fat. The little boy I nanny for continues to call me fat and tells me I'm big. Listen 7 year old, BACK THE BLEEP OFF. At first it was funny, because I'm obviously not a twig, but it quickly became redundant and I keep imaging myself getting a running start and drop kicking him in the face. By the way, I do love this little boy to death, but when we're in the car and he goes, "When are you going to get a bigger car? You keep getting bigger so you probably need a bigger car too.". For now, I only imagine the drop kick for a split second, it may become my day dream.
Well folks that wraps it up. Here's the web link to the Hollywood Miracle Diet. I'll let you know how it goes! Pictures are coming! http://www.naturalhomecures.com/member/24hourdiet.html
- A
Monday, August 29, 2011
Holy Money Bags!!!
I feel like I need to write some type of disclaimer on here. Considering the fact I'm reviewing these money guzzling diets, I am not a doctor. Yes, I have been in school long enough to most likely be a doctor or a professional in something, but I'm not. The purpose of this blog is for the "real-life person" to attempt these diets and come up with real results. This is what I promise you: Any program I try, I will absolutely 100% follow them. Unless one of these diet plans tells me not to, I will also be doing some light cardio exercises and weight training. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think this is an over night transition. Plus, who knows how long my bank account can afford this!
UMMMMMMMM I've already figured out why these diets are "short-term". They're flippin' expensive! I went to GNC and this little cutie in khaki pants, button up shirt, and tie helped me out. (The receipt says his name is Kyle. Ladies, go have yourself a little inspiration peak at good ole' Kyle.)
HOLY MONEY BAGS, GNC you may have just stolen $50.49 from me! Cutie Kyle told me I should try the "GNC Total Lean: Total Body Transformation System". The program allegedly has a "very strong outcome" and blue eyes Kyle says he's had a lot of customers come back for another go with it. FYI Kyle, I'm guessing it's not just because of the free magazine you threw in the $50 GNC bag, but thanks anyway.
More so to the point, the "you're body's going to be rockin' in 2 weeks" program may begin next week. I have my reasons people! I want to give you my full attention and Eastern Illinois University football team has a game on Thursday so ... I can't promise success till after that game. (P.S. My brother is a wide reciever for EIU #88. I'm not pimping him out, but I think I saw him on the cover of Men's Health once. Ok maybe I superimposed his body on there, but he belongs center stage. Look him up.)
I really want to try the Hollywood Diet juice first. This juice claims you can lose up to 10 pounds in 48 hours.
Fun fact: This diet couldn't come any sooner. The second I sat down to write this blog, I ripped my favorite pants. God is being pretty direct with me today. Thanks big man, got your point, working on it!
Back to the Hollywood Diet ... I'm going to post the link to buy the juice on this page. It's looking like Wal Mart is in a strong first in front of the other sellers of the miracle juice. You'll probably spend $12 on the potent potion. Something to know, every Wal Mart in Central Illinois is sold out of this product. BOO WALLY WORLD! You can order it online though with free shipping so YAY WALLY!
Reading some reviews of the Hollywood diet, most people did lose the 10 pounds it claims you'll lose. Taking two steps back though, they say all you lose is water weight and it's really easy to put back on. Surprise, surprise. I found the reviews on eopinions.com and one opinion giver says the diet restricts you to only 400 calories a day. I wonder if I'll have mood swings from this one?
Needless to say the beginning of this blog is starting off fierce. I still can't decide: After my physical tomorrow should is disclose my weight or hide it till the end? ANXIETY ATTACK!
-A
UMMMMMMMM I've already figured out why these diets are "short-term". They're flippin' expensive! I went to GNC and this little cutie in khaki pants, button up shirt, and tie helped me out. (The receipt says his name is Kyle. Ladies, go have yourself a little inspiration peak at good ole' Kyle.)
HOLY MONEY BAGS, GNC you may have just stolen $50.49 from me! Cutie Kyle told me I should try the "GNC Total Lean: Total Body Transformation System". The program allegedly has a "very strong outcome" and blue eyes Kyle says he's had a lot of customers come back for another go with it. FYI Kyle, I'm guessing it's not just because of the free magazine you threw in the $50 GNC bag, but thanks anyway.
More so to the point, the "you're body's going to be rockin' in 2 weeks" program may begin next week. I have my reasons people! I want to give you my full attention and Eastern Illinois University football team has a game on Thursday so ... I can't promise success till after that game. (P.S. My brother is a wide reciever for EIU #88. I'm not pimping him out, but I think I saw him on the cover of Men's Health once. Ok maybe I superimposed his body on there, but he belongs center stage. Look him up.)
I really want to try the Hollywood Diet juice first. This juice claims you can lose up to 10 pounds in 48 hours.
Fun fact: This diet couldn't come any sooner. The second I sat down to write this blog, I ripped my favorite pants. God is being pretty direct with me today. Thanks big man, got your point, working on it!
Back to the Hollywood Diet ... I'm going to post the link to buy the juice on this page. It's looking like Wal Mart is in a strong first in front of the other sellers of the miracle juice. You'll probably spend $12 on the potent potion. Something to know, every Wal Mart in Central Illinois is sold out of this product. BOO WALLY WORLD! You can order it online though with free shipping so YAY WALLY!
Reading some reviews of the Hollywood diet, most people did lose the 10 pounds it claims you'll lose. Taking two steps back though, they say all you lose is water weight and it's really easy to put back on. Surprise, surprise. I found the reviews on eopinions.com and one opinion giver says the diet restricts you to only 400 calories a day. I wonder if I'll have mood swings from this one?
Needless to say the beginning of this blog is starting off fierce. I still can't decide: After my physical tomorrow should is disclose my weight or hide it till the end? ANXIETY ATTACK!
-A
Guinea Pig: The Experiment
Hello loves and WELCOME to my newest adventure! I've been thinking about my next big mountain to climb for a while now, and this "experiment" came together in my racing head late last night/early this morning. Are you ready for this? I hope I am ...
My generation is all about trends and fads. (Oh, and instant gratification.) We're all about trying to fit in and conforming to the "social norm". Well what the hell is the social norm anyway? A few words that come to mind:
- Skinny
- Pretty
- Cosmos (drink & magazine)
- Flawless Skin
- Perfection
Yea, all those words are making me pretty sick to my stomach right about now. (I'm just learning how to work this blog and I'm going to attempt to upload pictures but stay with me here.) For any of you who knew me about two years back, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS GETTING CURVY? (***I shall refrain from using the word fat, because I do love my curves ... and my booty that the burgers gave me.***) I mean seriously, could anyone have said, "Hey Avery, why don't you trade the cheeseburger for a salad," or, "Listen girlfriend, a diet coke wouldn't kill ya!" Some friends you all are! :)
Here's my proposal: I'm going to try all those "fast acting" "100% guaranteed to work or get your money back" fad diets. I figure I'll go on each diet, depending on the requested amount of time, for at least 7 to 10 days. No, I'm not taking the pills that Ronny from the Jersey Shore is trying to sell. Let's be honest, he ruined that brand. However, I'm thinking Atkins Diet, Cabbage Soup cleansing, Hollywood Drink Diet, anything I can find and anything you offer me. Let's see if these "you'll be skinny as a rail in 72 hours diets" actually get me back down to my slim and trim body.
Now we need to set a time limit. It's Monday, August 29 and it seems to me like 8 weeks should be a good amount of time. I'll most likely have to take a couple weekends off, braking in between diets due to alcohol consumption. I'm a college kid, it's football season, get over it. This means we're looking at 10 to 12 weeks. Holy cow I hope I can do this.
I have a physical set up with my doctor tomorrow. I'll give you all the THICK and JUICY, and yes I'm being punny, details tomorrow. Whoa, I haven't exactly come to terms with telling everyone my weight. I can't promise anything on the first day.
Back to the doctors appointment: Do you think I should wear my high school P.E. clothes to try and not look like an idiot when I walk in and say, "Curvy kid here for the five year physical?". Yea, I asked for the appointment and the receptionist said, "Um, is this for school or for sports?" Listen lady, you already asked for my birth date, you know I'm not in high school, and as far as sporting events go, I'm usually the one doing the 12 oz. curls. TAKE THAT ATHLETES.
All in all, physical tomorrow, first diet starting Wednesday, going to try and upload pictures. WISH ME LUCK!
- Guinea Pig
My generation is all about trends and fads. (Oh, and instant gratification.) We're all about trying to fit in and conforming to the "social norm". Well what the hell is the social norm anyway? A few words that come to mind:
- Skinny
- Pretty
- Cosmos (drink & magazine)
- Flawless Skin
- Perfection
Yea, all those words are making me pretty sick to my stomach right about now. (I'm just learning how to work this blog and I'm going to attempt to upload pictures but stay with me here.) For any of you who knew me about two years back, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS GETTING CURVY? (***I shall refrain from using the word fat, because I do love my curves ... and my booty that the burgers gave me.***) I mean seriously, could anyone have said, "Hey Avery, why don't you trade the cheeseburger for a salad," or, "Listen girlfriend, a diet coke wouldn't kill ya!" Some friends you all are! :)
Here's my proposal: I'm going to try all those "fast acting" "100% guaranteed to work or get your money back" fad diets. I figure I'll go on each diet, depending on the requested amount of time, for at least 7 to 10 days. No, I'm not taking the pills that Ronny from the Jersey Shore is trying to sell. Let's be honest, he ruined that brand. However, I'm thinking Atkins Diet, Cabbage Soup cleansing, Hollywood Drink Diet, anything I can find and anything you offer me. Let's see if these "you'll be skinny as a rail in 72 hours diets" actually get me back down to my slim and trim body.
Now we need to set a time limit. It's Monday, August 29 and it seems to me like 8 weeks should be a good amount of time. I'll most likely have to take a couple weekends off, braking in between diets due to alcohol consumption. I'm a college kid, it's football season, get over it. This means we're looking at 10 to 12 weeks. Holy cow I hope I can do this.
I have a physical set up with my doctor tomorrow. I'll give you all the THICK and JUICY, and yes I'm being punny, details tomorrow. Whoa, I haven't exactly come to terms with telling everyone my weight. I can't promise anything on the first day.
Back to the doctors appointment: Do you think I should wear my high school P.E. clothes to try and not look like an idiot when I walk in and say, "Curvy kid here for the five year physical?". Yea, I asked for the appointment and the receptionist said, "Um, is this for school or for sports?" Listen lady, you already asked for my birth date, you know I'm not in high school, and as far as sporting events go, I'm usually the one doing the 12 oz. curls. TAKE THAT ATHLETES.
All in all, physical tomorrow, first diet starting Wednesday, going to try and upload pictures. WISH ME LUCK!
- Guinea Pig
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