After completing a lovely workout on Thursday, my friend Jorie and I decided to reward ourselves with Irish Car Bombs and beer. Luckily our after party snacks were skinny pizza's, but at least we pre-worked off the alcohol we consumed. Listen, to all you college Freshmen out there, we need to have a talk. First of all, most of you probably JUST started drinking, so NO, you haven't gained weight from it yet so you CAN wear your stupid spandex skirts. It doesn't mean you have to wear a white spandex skirt with a black thong. That's just not cute. (Yes, I DID see this in person. You know who you are.) Plus, when did it become OK to stop saying "excuse me" or "sorry" while sprinting to your coveted spot on the dance floor? I know you used a fake I.D. to get into this bar, so I'm going to assume your dancing with a boy who just hit puberty as well. Don't worry, I'm not going to steal your general education class study partner young child. However, I am a big girl and if you continue to push me, I'll push back. Just saying.
Now back to the "important" stuff: we're going into week two of the 14 Day GNC Total Body Transformation diet. Thus far I've lost two pounds. I can't stop drinking beer. This is an issue.
On a positive note, this diet is really easy. For anyone looking to lose weight in 14 days, this diet is for you. The box comes with two sets of pills, one for the morning and one for the afternoon. It also gives you two 180 calorie powders that you mix into a drink or shake. These powders will either substitute as your meal or for a snack. I will say, I never ONCE have been hungry on this program.
The savior to this diet: the "How To" booklet it comes with. I love the fact that I can do all of my workouts at home! Lunges, squats, bench press, everything I can do at home with my make-shift weights. If you recall I turned two empty milk jugs into my weights by filling them with water. I really need to come up with a name for them. Suggestions? Maybe "Belly Burner" and "Ass Kicker".
I've also been running and doing hills out at Fox Ridge State park. A couple of people have joined me, which is nice because that means I have to actually put in work and act like I'm in shape. I find myself acting like I'm yawning instead of breathing hard. When I get to the top of this hill and I feel like I'm going to roll back down it because I can't breath, I just yawn and act like, "Oh, I'm yawning because I just made that hill my bitch. I'm not tired, No, let's run back down it.". NOT.
The only thing you have to watch out for at Fox Ridge are branches. Those little .... GROWL. I was walking and saw a branch on the ground. I thought to myself, "That's a branch, not a root. I need to jump over that." I guess my left leg didn't get the memo because as soon as that thought passed through my head I tripped over the stick and almost soiled myself while face planting in the mud. Stick: 1, Avery: 0.
The only thing you have to watch out for at Fox Ridge are branches. Those little .... GROWL. I was walking and saw a branch on the ground. I thought to myself, "That's a branch, not a root. I need to jump over that." I guess my left leg didn't get the memo because as soon as that thought passed through my head I tripped over the stick and almost soiled myself while face planting in the mud. Stick: 1, Avery: 0.
Are you ready for my next adventure? Weight loss hypnosis! Yes, I'm going to try a 21 day program by Eric Brown, a certified hypnotherapist. You can download the program off of iTunes. Like anything else in this world, it did cost a little bit of money, but HEY, instead of buying that last shot you know you'll regret in the morning, hop online and get hypnotized.
I've only been hypnotized by the big E-Dog once, and well, let's just say I started it around midnight and woke up around 8 A.M. Eric says it's ok to fall asleep though, he has a very soothing voice. Maybe it's when he tells me to get into some boat in the ocean and drift off, that's when I fall asleep. I most likely fell asleep because I'm thinking, "Hell no Eric Brown, Natalie Halloway didn't come back from that shit, I'm not about to be a missing person.". I'll let you know how it goes.
With smart phones these days, no matter what make or model there's an application for counting calories. They're usually free, download one. I use to be THAT GIRL who would "count calories" and leave off a couple pieces of cheese or General Tso's chicken crumbs. Don't do it! The worst thing you can do it fool yourself into thinking you're consuming less calories than you actually are. In the end, the scales don't lie.
Thinking about trying Sensa, the miracle sprinkles you put on your food? Thoughts? I put up some new pictures so you can see the transformation in my body! Email me any thoughts, comments, questions, or suggestions at akmacpheedrake@gmail.com.
By the way, spandex skirt wearers, I wear spandex to work out in every day. If you want to make a statement at the bar, come borrow my spandex SHORTS. Food for thought.
-A
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