Guinea Pig: The Experiment

Hello loves and WELCOME to my newest adventure!  I've been thinking about my next big mountain to climb for a while now, and this "experiment" came together in my racing head late last night/early this morning. Are you ready for this? I hope I am ...

My generation is all about trends and fads. (Oh, and instant gratification.) We're all about trying to fit in and conforming to the "social norm". Well what the hell is the social norm anyway? A few words that come to mind:
- Skinny
- Pretty
- Cosmos (drink & magazine)
- Flawless Skin
- Perfection

Yea, all those words are making me pretty sick to my stomach right about now. (I'm just learning how to work this blog and I'm going to attempt to upload pictures but stay with me here.) For any of you who knew me about two years back, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS GETTING CURVY? (***I shall refrain from using the word fat, because I do love my curves ... and my booty that the burgers gave me.***) I mean seriously, could anyone have said, "Hey Avery, why don't you trade the cheeseburger for a salad," or, "Listen girlfriend, a diet coke wouldn't kill ya!" Some friends you all are! :)

Here's my proposal: I'm going to try all those "fast acting" "100% guaranteed to work or get your money back" fad diets. I figure I'll go on each diet, depending on the requested amount of time, for at least 7 to 10 days. No, I'm not taking the pills that Ronny from the Jersey Shore is trying to sell. Let's be honest, he ruined that brand. However, I'm thinking Atkins Diet, Cabbage Soup cleansing, Hollywood Drink Diet, anything I can find and anything you offer me. Let's see if these "you'll be skinny as a rail in 72 hours diets" actually get me back down to my slim and trim body.

Now we need to set a time limit. It's Monday, August 29 and it seems to me like 8 weeks should be a good amount of time. I'll most likely have to take a couple weekends off, braking in between diets due to alcohol consumption. I'm a college kid, it's football season, get over it. This means we're looking at 10 to 12 weeks. Holy cow I hope I can do this.

I have a physical set up with my doctor tomorrow. I'll give you all the THICK and JUICY, and yes I'm being punny, details tomorrow. Whoa, I haven't exactly come to terms with telling everyone my weight. I can't promise anything on the first day.

Back to the doctors appointment: Do you think I should wear my high school P.E. clothes to try and not look like an idiot when I walk in and say, "Curvy kid here for the five year physical?". Yea, I asked for the appointment and the receptionist said, "Um, is this for school or for sports?" Listen lady, you already asked for my birth date, you know I'm not in high school, and as far as sporting events go, I'm usually the one doing the 12 oz. curls. TAKE THAT ATHLETES.

All in all, physical tomorrow, first diet starting Wednesday, going to try and upload pictures. WISH ME LUCK!

- Guinea Pig